Memories of a Happier Time
by Lady Scarlet Hecate
Summary: FFIV. He had had that dream again. Golbez introspection, ingame period


Memories of a Happier Time

He woke up at dawn, but he didn't know that. To him, it could have been midday or midnight. No sunlight ever entered the tower, for there weren't any windows. There weren't any clocks either. But he preferred darkness, so it didn't matter to him. That ticking sound bothered him anyway.

He got up and dressed, just like he had done every morning for the past eternity (_so long, too long, he needed to get out_). Green cotton pants and a white shirt. His clothes seemed rather unfit (_too good too soft too normal_) for the metallic beast surrounding him, but that wasn't important. They would soon disappear under his armor anyway.

He ate breakfast, but only because (_she had always said it was the most important meal and she was always right_) he needed to eat to survive. He found the cook's meals disgusting. He would have to find a better one soon. A man of his rank deserved grand feasts, not undercooked meat and soggy vegetables (_home cooked meals were even better, especially hers_).

But such silly things would not damper his mood. He was much too old (_thirty already, where did time and youth go?_) for that. Indeed, he went through his routine with surprising levity. His hair, normally a source of annoyance, was brushed and placed in record time. He found his boots in less than five minutes and hadn't even needed to look under the bed. If his men had seen him now, they would have wondered why on earth their master was so cheerful, and why he was actively showing it (_he didn't smile so much anymore, he had nobody to smile with_).

He had had that dream again.

He always found himself in a garden, surrounded. But no anger, no fear, no hatred came from the figures. There was a man, a woman and a child, and they were all smiling at him. The man's aura was kind and loving (_strong and powerful and safe_). The woman's arms closed around him in a warm embrace (_always her baby boy, always her sunshine_). The toddler's green (_oh so green, jade and emerald and freshly cut grass, just like his_) eyes were fixed upon him in pride and admiration.

He felt like he belonged with them.

These people were important to him (_dearest, most precious_). He was certain of that. Perhaps they were even his family. That was why he had never told anyone about the dream. The scientists would say such memories were useless and take it (_them_) away from him. So he kept shut and waited for the dreams.

The toddler felt the most familiar. Perhaps he had seen him at some point but hadn't recognized him (_it was **him**, it was him, my head hurts it feels like I'm going to die_)? He hoped it wasn't so, because the toddler seemed like a brother (_beloved baby brother, must keep him safe must keep him away from them_) and forgetting your own brother is a bad thing. Maybe he had stayed with him longer? Why had he been separated (_ripped apart, blood everywhere and baby brother crying_) from his family, anyway? By then his head was filled with a loud buzz, and for some reason he kept losing his train of thoughts until the dream was nothing more than a faint remembrance at the back of his head.

For some reason, he wanted to tell his new slave and his prisoner (_**his** friends, they are his friends_) about the dream. That was just plain silly. It wouldn't do to tell potential enemies about a possible weakness (_loneliness, everyone else is gone_). Empires were destroyed for lesser reasons.

He still had the feeling they would understand better than his other minions, though. After all, they certainly had families too (_happy families, had he destroyed them too?_).

Such foolish things didn't matter right now. The meddling Dark Knight from Baron (_green-eyed toddler, baby brother_) was nearing Mount Ordeals, and he couldn't allow the birth of a new Paladin. The man had to be stopped before he became too dangerous (_be strong, be strong, you have to stop me, you have to kill me_).

And then, after the death of all his enemies and the creation of his new empire, he would find the man, the woman and the toddler (_stop me save me kill me_) from his dreams. He would tell them who he was, show them what he had become. They would be proud of him.


End file.
